[ After their initial run-in, Kaveh gives Alhaitham a few days to settle in to the resort. It may have been close to two years now, but he remembers all too well what those first few days were like for him, the adjustment to a place so unlike home in so many ways. And where his former roommate has had a better start than many others get, with Kaveh taking the time to supply him clothing and other useful amenities, he's also had the confusion of waking up to what has to seem a vast change in someone he's known for so many years. So time seems the right thing to offer him, in Kaveh's mind.
He spends it taking a few extra trips into the newly-appeared dungeons, gathering the materials he needs to have each of them a proper weapon forged.
(It will help them fend off those horrible slimes, if anything.)
Then, with a decent claymore and sword both in hand, garbed once more in his barely-there armor, Kaveh goes in search of Alhaitham and suggests they go questing as planned... which is how they've found themselves here, down on the fourth floor. Kaveh has been here before, and so he knows to watch his step, but...
Click.
A tile caves under his foot, and he feels the rumbling threat shake the room around them, eyes wide as he looks up at Alhaitham. ]
Shit—
[ They're further than he made it last time; surely they won't land in those same rooms...? ]
[ Admittedly, he did take the time to adjust himself. He may not care to be here, but that’s neither here nor there. Alhaitham has explored the resort, not thoroughly but enough he had located the so called Swan Lake. The library has eaten up his time like nothing else, which likely comes as no surprise to Kaveh. He’s checked out quite a few books and is nose deep in one such book when Kaveh makes his appearance. Half-dressed. Alhaitham respectfully settles his gaze back onto his book and waited for Kaveh to explain why he was back with weapons.
The answer was simple without ceremony. Despite previous (poor) experiences in the dungeon, they’re well-enough equipped and Alhaitham has come to terms with the nature of the place… he agrees. He doubts they will find anything worth while enough, the dungeon seems much like it’s just a manufacturer of flimsy excuses for sexual encounters. He feels markedly more comfortable approaching it with a sword in hand.
He’s distracted. They’ve approached ruins together before without problem, danger eliminated swiftly when the two of them join together. It’s going rather well… which is little excuse for Alhaitham’s wandering gaze and stray thoughts. The soft but deafening click garners his attention immediately, catching onto Kaveh’s wide eyes.
The thundering noise behind them nearly drowns out Kaveh’s cuss and Alhaitham doesn’t hesitate to move. He launches into action, hurtling forward and his hand latches onto Kaveh’s wrist. The bouldering rushing after them is large, loud and threatening to squash them like bugs.
Alhaitham assesses their options and with little warning, he throws them off the ledge. The drop steals his breath and they’ve dodged one bullet, nearly landing safely — when he feels Kaveh buckle. He’s generous enough is arms jerk out, trying to steady him when ultimately he feels them both begin to tumble. ]
Oof! [That’s how Alhaitham ends up flat on his back, the weight of Kaveh squarely atop him. Kaveh’s face squarely in his chest. His shoulder that took the brunt only aches a little.
He doesn’t know their problems are only about to multiply. ]
[ He doesn't immmediately notice Alhaitham hurtling forward and into him. His mind is working overtime, formulating plans that end with the two of them landing somewhere safe—as in, not one of the rooms he found himself last time, with a locked door and a sex machine. But before he can say or do anything, offer any sort of warning, long fingers curl around his wrist and suddenly he's in freefall. ]
No—
[ But it's far too late for that. They fall, and with Alhaitham's steady grip on his, they land—but a sharp pain in his ankle makes it buckle, and he crumples like paper, straight into the other man's arms and forcing them both to collapse to the dungeon floor. And it's dark, but it smells nice, and...
Fuck, he can feel Alhaitham's heartbeat against his nose.
He sits up, wide-eyed and red-cheeked, and pushes himself away from the other to look around. The room seems... ]
Okay. Okay, this is okay. [ He gets to his feet, wincing as he puts pressure on the one that gave out under his weight, bracing a hand on the nearest wall to support himself. ] The door's just over there, and there's nothing—ow!
[ He tears his hand away from the wall as spikes emerge from it, pinpricks of blood left behind on his skin. And before he can say anything at all, the walls start to move, the horrific grinding of stone on stone loud in his ears but still failing to drown out the voice that roars its warning through the chamber. ]
Fuck—
[ This time, it's Kaveh who grabs Alhaitham, dragging him into the center of the room—and he hurries, but the other will no doubt notice the slight unevenness to his steps as he avoids putting too much pressure on his the right side. In the center, he turns to look at him, and at the walls, and...
and of course Kaveh knows what his biggest secret is, that single most vulnerable thing he wishes to keep from the other man, but...
but he's been in this resort for a long time, and he's changed a lot, and... surely something different will suffice. Right...?
[ Alhaitham’s gaze is sweeping around the room, assessing just where they’ve fallen and what new dilemma they’ve dropped into. The pained ow! from Kaveh has his attention jerked back to him, eyes widening as he stares at the spikes that appear protruding out of the walls and looking every bit of a threatening promise.
The threat that booms into the room sounds utterly ridiculous, the expletive that comes spitting out of Kaveh’s mouth is almost muted under the combined noise of the walls closing in on them and the booming voice. He lets himself be herded into the center of the room, his mind already racing.
Kaveh’s injured ankle hasn’t escaped his notice, but in the scheme of things, it’s not a priority he can address just yet.
He might be willing to call the resort’s bluff if they hadn’t just been similarly threatened with being squashed by a boulder. Kaveh’s nicked hand is proof enough these spikes aren’t dull.
Be emotionally vulnerable…or die!
How ridiculous.
Yet, he can see it on Kaveh’s face that his head is spinning trying to do just that. He guesses that proof enough that he shouldn’t play with this. The threat is real.
He can’t begin to stop the huff of actual disbelieving laughter at what Kaveh’s confesses. Both of Alhaitham’s brows jump up. And he… admittedly, takes a stunned second to stare at Kaveh. That’s… a thought that’s immediately embedded in his brain. ]
You think that’s being vulnerable?
[ One too-thin shirt is all it would have taken for Alhaitham to find that out. While he’s criticizing Kaveh’s choice of confession, he’s also grasping Kaveh’s wrist, pulling that injured hand towards him with a click of his tongue. ]
[ Kaveh makes an irritated noise in the back of his throat, pulling his hand free of Alhaitham's with a mutter—"I'm fine", even though he's very clearly not, the blood pooling in his palm and dripping to the floor. It doesn't matter, though, in the same way his ankle doesn't matter, not when there's an all-too-strong possibility of the both of them being skewered here, lest they can figure out the right things to say.
And he knows, knew even without Alhaitham saying it, that his admission really isn't good enough, but at least he tried, and...
And it has to be. It has to be enough, because the alternative is...
He swallows hard, trying to ignore the sound of stone on stone as he glares at Alhaitham, arms folding protectively over his chest—as if, somehow, he knows the other is suddenly thinking far too much about the piercings hiding under them. ]
I know that you're emotionally inept, but embarrassment is definitely a type of vulnerability—
[ His scowl deepens. ]
Besides, I don't see you offering anything, so how do you know it wasn't enough?
[ Even as he says it though, he knows that Alhaitham is right, that what he's said indeed wasn't enough, not when he holds a more significant vulnerability closer to his chest.
But at least, until Alhaitham admits to something of his own and nothing changes, he can pretend. Right? ]
If it's not enough I'll say something else but you have to... you've gotta say something, Alhaitham. Please.
[ It's Kaveh's crossing his arms over his chest that drags Alhaitham's gaze to unintentionally follow, to be expected with the current topic. He suspects, equipped with this new knowledge as he is, if he'd looked more frequently, he surely would have already caught the slight outline of those mentioned piercings already. He knows now he'll be unconsciously looking for them and the thought alone is taxing.
He fixes his eyes back on Kaveh's scowling face. A much more easy, familiar sight. With the earbuds Kaveh gave him in, the grating noise of the trap walls creeping closer in with the spikes is heavy background noise.
He doesn't know what Kaveh thinks he has to be embarrassed for. It's a personal decision, an aesthetic one at that —which Kaveh should know he excels at. Alhaitham doesn't doubt it looks quite erotic. A smart, sensual decision in a place relying on sexual encounters.
Kaveh, unfortunately, is right on this point. He hasn't provided any semblance of a vulnerability. The fright with which Kaveh reacted makes the possibility of their death feel very real, no hint of doubt that this death trap would follow through on its word. The pleading is enough to make Alhaitham comply.]
I... don't think your hair looks bad, [ he says rather plainly, as if he doesn't know how contrary that is to all the comments he's made about Kaveh's hair. ] It looks nice like this.
[ Pretty, he doesn't say.
Instead, he's reaching out and grabbing at the material covering Kavehs' legs, his confession punctuated with the noise of the fabric and stitches ripping as Alhaitham tears off a strip. He specifically doesn't look at the new stretch of thigh revealed by his actions, focusing on the strip of fabric and the noise of the stone walls instead. ]
Good enough?
[ Doubtful. He doesn't hear any mechanisms trigger or stop and the walls keep pushing closer. Alhaitham pulls Kaveh's hurt hand away from his chest, mouth pinched in a frown as he ties wraps the strip around Kaveh's palm tightly, working on tying a tight knot on it. There's no reason to not treat it. Their minds can work perfectly fine even with their hands busy. ]
[ Alhaitham speaks, and nothing changes, and Kaveh thinks he's going to be sick. Sure, the other's statement isn't what most people would call "emotionally vulnerable", but... Kaveh knows Alhaitham, and he knows that for him, such an admission is actually a lot, and from his experience of the resort thus far, its various games are usually pretty good at judging by the character of the individual, and not by some specific metric. Which has to mean...
Which means Alhaitham was right, he was right in his own head, and the admission about the piercings wasn't enough to save them.
He swallows hard, and says nothing for a moment, nor does he try to pull away a second time when Alhaitham takes his hand again (though he did startle and yell out when the fabric of his armor was so suddenly torn, revealing... well, far too much leg for his liking). ]
I paid money for those—
[ But he cuts himself off. There's no point in arguing this right now. Kaveh himself hasn't died in this resort, but he knows it's possible, and while it might not be the end of one's life, the effects after the fact are, to his knowledge, far from nice. It's not on the list of experiences he wants to have, and even if he'd consider sacrificing himself for the secret on the tip of his tongue, he wouldn't let Alhaitham do the same, so...
But they still have time, don't they? And Kaveh still has plenty of secrets.
He takes a trembling breath, trying not to look too panicked or upset as, for each confession, his cheeks burn darker, his gaze drops lower. ]
I... I've been involved in an orgy before. [ And, when that does nothing: ] I've also had sex with a literal tentacle monster.
[ Nothing changes. The walls creep closer—Kaveh could swear they're getting faster. His lips tremble. ]
I like wearing lingerie sometimes. I have a few different sets, actually—I think I look pretty in them, so...
[ Still nothing. The hand not being looked over by Alhaitham clenches by his side. He knows what the resort wants him to say. He knows it... Of course it's put them in this situation... ]
I like being called a good boy! [ He's almost shouting it now, panic edging each of his words—and Alhaitham knows him well enough to recognize it's not fear of the spikes or the walls that's driving him, but fear of what he knows he needs to say. Tears spring to his eyes. ] I like it when someone fucks me hard enough that I can't think, because thinking hurts—
[ The walls move closer, and Kaveh starts to cry. ]
[ The effort is admirable. The walls don't move fast enough that this would result in a slow, painless death. Alhaitham would greatly like to avoid it and not just for himself. He wouldn't needlessly put Kaveh through that.
He busies himself with the bandage, readjusting it to sit neatly on Kaveh's palm. With the bandage tied neatly around Kaveh's palm, Alhaitham would have nothing to distract him from the sound of the walls scraping stone against stone as their imminent demise looms ever closer. That and the distress knitted into Kaveh's expression, embodied in the shaky quality of his breath. Kaveh isn't particularly known for his unflappable nerves.
He's a brilliant scholar, a famously renowned architect.
What would he need to be fearless for?
The flood of confessions that follow, one after another, with Kaveh growing increasingly desperate between each one.. Alhaitham could just think that Kaveh is panicked about their impending death. He never once throws back the accusation that Alhaitham's mild confession wasn't enough. His desperation reeks of a secret he wants to keep.
Alhaitham feels his face warmed with each confession, heat flooding his face. Even with the earbuds Kaveh's given him, his head had started a dull ache when that voiced boomed overhead but now it throbs, intolerant of the echo of Kaveh's words muddled with the stone grinding against itself. He gives up straightening the bandage.
An orgy. A tentacle monster. Lingerie. Nipple piercings.
How many people has Kaveh slept with? The thought surprises Alhaitham, his own runaway thoughts quickly reminding it wasn't even just people -- a tentacle monster made the list as well. Anyone that wasn't him, evidently.
He swipes an agitated hand against his forehead, feely overheated, his forehead damp underneath his bangs. HIs thoughts spiral uselessly while Kaveh admits to a praise kink, admits to liking it rough. Alhaitham wonders the last time he praised anything Kaveh's done. He can practically hear Kaveh begging someone to call him a good boy. Someone that isn't Alhaitham —
The walls are closer. They're close enough that Alhaitham can stretch out an arm and touch the spikes. Kaveh is crying right in front of him. Alhaitham ignores the lingering echoes of Kaveh's voice. ]
I regret how our project ended. [ Alhaitham admits, abruptly. His own voice grates on his nerves, his head throbbing, but he doesn't intend to die like this. Kaveh's admitted countless things, there's a lingering possibility it's him. Alhaitham collects his messy mind to remedy that possibility, even as he watches the tears collect at Kaveh's lashes and knows Kaveh is holding back. ] I wanted to apologize.
[ That had been off the table, the damage too severe. ]
[ It's a good thing he doesn't look up at Alhaitham's face. Seeing him, right now, growing redder with each of his confessions... it might break him. It's bad enough that Alhaitham's hands still on the makeshift bandage, that he pulls one away for reasons Kaveh doesn't quite know, that he doesn't know what the other is thinking as he makes all of these confessions, one after the other.
(Though, at the same time, perhaps he doesn't want to know. Perhaps Alhaitham is judging him in his own mind, thinking of Kaveh as the worst kind of deviant—)
And yet in the end, his eyes are dragged up to him anyway, eyes wide despite the tears on his cheeks, clinging to his lashes, trembling like gemstones at the corners of his lips. His eyes widen in answer to Alhaitham's apology. Guilt gnaws at his insides. The walls draw ever closer. There are scant few moments left before it's too late, and Alhaitham is trying, opening up to deeper secrets still even as Kaveh hides the one that matters the most.
They're going to die, he thinks, for a single, wild moment. He can feel the spikes at his back. ]
You've been here before!
[ He shouts it. The walls stop—slow?—but nothing else happens. Not that Kaveh is paying attention to anything else, anymore. His eyes close, a fresh pair of tears rushing down his cheeks, and when he speaks again, his voice is little more than a whisper in the sudden, deafening silence of the room. ]
You arrived at the same time as me. We had sex—we ended up dating. And I. I fell in love with you.
[ His arms wrap around himself, as if he can somehow shield his entire body, his heart, his feelings from the words falling like pain from his lips. ]
And then you disappeared, and you've been gone... you've been gone for so long. But I never... [ His breath catches on a sob, his shoulders hunched over. ] I'm in love with you, Alhaitham.
[ Then, Kaveh screams, as the floor opens under their feet, sending them into freefall. ]
[ He definitely hasn’t been here before, he thinks absurdly. His head throbs painfully at how unnecessarily loud Kaveh is. Through the ache and the way Kaveh’s voice seems to echo off the walls, words coming back double, Alhaitham tries to remind himself that this nonsensical place doesn’t follow the rules of Teyvat.
Perhaps he has been here before. The shaky tears running down Kaveh’s face are convincing as much as they have Alhaitham itching to look away despite the unsettling sight of how close the spikes are, nearly touching Kaveh. His own pulse is racing, pounding loud and deafening in his ears but not loud enough to drown out Kaveh’s frantic voice.
The terrifying crawl of the walls closer comes to a deafening stop. Alhaitham can feel the metal of the spikes against his back, the promise to skewer them only stopped by Kaveh’s tearful confession.
Alhaitham’s head was still spinning. Why was that so much more important than of the other secrets? He didn’t have to wonder long, watching tears drip off of Kaveh’s chin, wet tear tracks left down his face. Alhaitham feels feverish. Borderline sick with the way his head aches and Kaveh’s voice distorts, abundantly and glaringly obvious in the otherwise silent room. Kaveh’s arms are wrapped so tightly around himself as if he’s confessing something horrific.
Alhaitham takes one earbud out, grasping it tightly in his hand as if he truly doesn’t trust his ears. For the man that’s been trying to leave his house, pretending furiously that they don’t even live together, it’s bizarre to hear every turn in the story.
Dating? In love? With him?
Alhaitham wonders: is he sick? Delirious? He must be. That explains this fever. Kaveh isn’t saying that. ]
What did you —
[ The words are cut off, swallowed up by a gasp to accompany Kaveh’s scream as the floor drops them unceremoniously into a free fall. With no warning, Alhaitham scrambles to land properly. He doesn’t land well, but better than his counterpart. The pained noise Kaveh makes has Alhaitham swiftly reaching out, entirely too late and yanking Kaveh towards himself.
For the second time today, they tumble into a graceless heap. ]
[ He has time to register that Alhaitham is asking him a question, but it goes unfinished as they fall. The dank scent of the next dungeon floor reaches his nose, and somewhere through the grief and mortification, he knows they've escaped. They land on the cobbled floor, and Kaveh feels something in his hurt ankle give, a sharp sound of pain on his lips heralding the agony that spikes through him. It's enough that, for just a moment, he forgets everything that has happened within the last few minutes, every last thought replaced by the pain receptors screaming in his head.
Before he can collapse entirely, though, Alhaitham grabs him and pulls him close, and they tumble to the floor together, landing in a shallow pool of water. Suddenly, he's not just in pain, he's soaked through, and he's pressed up against Alhaitham again, and—
and Alhaitham is warm, clammy somehow in a way Kaveh doesn't immediately understand. Almost feverish, he'll think later, when this moment haunts the hours when he should be sleeping, replaying itself over and over again. It's a sign he shouldn't miss, but in the heat of everything, weighed against the ache in his heart, he does.
He sits up, pushes himself away, refusing to look the other man in the face. His voice quavers when he talks, the words trembling on his lips as they rush out. His ankle is screaming in pain, but he's not thinking about that anymore. ]
...Listen. Everything I said, you... you can forget about it, okay? It's not important. I'm not expecting anything from you, or.. or anything like that, so...
[ Fuck, he's a mess. His breath catches, and Kaveh reaches both hands, bandaged and uninjured alike, into the water, splashing it onto his face in an effort to calm himself down, to hide the evidence of the tears still slipping from his eyes. ]
[ He hits his head in the tumble. Not bad, by any means, but it aches awfully with the already splintering headache. Honestly, the splash of water should shock his system. The water feels like ice on his hot skin, soaking through him and his clothes, wetting his hair with stray splashes hitting his face. When he opens his eyes, lashes batting away drops of water, it's to Kaveh on top of him. Hair a mess, tear tracks still down his face.
—in love with you, Alhaitham. Didn't you hear me?
He's all too aware of his arms on Kaveh and before he recognizes it, his arms tighten around Kaveh as if he intends to keep him just like this. Laid together in this chilly puddle in the middle of the dungeon. Kaveh's legs are between his own, the weight of his body fully laid on Alhaitham and —
Alhaitham! What are you thinking?!
Something foolish. He lets go of Kaveh, his senior taking the chance to sit up and away from him. Alhaitham and his pounding head lay there a second longer before he sluggishly sits up. He hates getting wet. They're both soaked through with no hope of getting a towel to dry off any time soon. He supposes they should be grateful they're still alive. That was a close one.
If he hadn't admitted how he'd felt about that project's unfortunate end... he wouldn't be here to complain about the cold water.
It's quieter down here and every word from Kaveh sounds louder than the last. He's more than a little aware that something is wrong, these are auditory hallucinations, but less so the cause. He doesn't think he hit his head that first fall, but perhaps he did. Immediately following, his head had begun hurting. It's not impossible, but neither is the resort simply attempting to fool him.
His head is still pounding now, he's more than conscious of the earbud he'd had in his hand when he'd fallen and how it's not there anymore. He feels around the bottom of the shallow pool they've landed in, trying to find the thing.
Glancing at Kaveh is a mistake. He's soaking wet, every bit of clothing sticking to him. ]
[ A lot happens in a short space of time. A lot of it, Kaveh doesn't really notice. The way Alhaitham's arms tighten around him for just a moment. The sluggish manner in which he sits up from the water. The focus on his face as he starts to feel around the bottom of the pool. He's far too caught up in the myriad of his own miseries that even when Alhaitham speaks directly to him, it takes him a moment to register what's going on.
His heart aches. The question is one of concern, and yet, detached from anything Kaveh was forced to voice aloud in that chamber, it feels cold. He's the one who told Alhaitham to forget it, and perhaps it's best that it's not acknowledged, but the fact it isn't still hurts like a knife, re-opening wounds he'd believed long healed. Fresh tears well in his eyes, and he splashes his face with water again, trying to will them away. It's embarrassing, isn't it? To keep crying like this when he's been so abruptly rejected.
Now that his hand has dipped twice into the pool, the makeshift bandage around his wounded palm is soaked through, and he can feel the sting of pain as cold water meets blood. Worst of all, the physical pain only brings his attention back to the worst source of the same, the agony emanating from an ankle, that, when he looks at it from here, seems to be sitting in quite a strange way, the skin starting to swell around the joint. A sick feeling settles in his stomach. Is it broken? How is he meant to get back out of the dungeon—
Taking a deep breath, Kaveh tries to bring his focus back to this very moment, and the question Alhaitham asked of him. His eyes lift, and he finally, finally looks up at the other man, eyes rimmed with red despite his best efforts, lower lip trembling so badly it adds a strange, halting lilt to his words. ]
...It's not too bad.
[ Strange, perhaps, that he lies so soon after telling Alhaitham so many truths, not to mention the fact that his ankle is very visibly not okay. But his pride is shattered, lying in intangible pieces on the floor around them. This is the only thing he has left. ]
[ It’s easier, Alhaitham realizes as he watches Kaveh’s lips move, like this. He doesn’t believe him, but he feels more confident in that Kaveh is really speaking to him. He looks awful, eyes rimmed red and his bottom lip visibly trembling. They’ve had horrific arguments before. Kaveh is sensitive, has taken several arguments to heart and has similarly been so tearfully affected by things that weren’t his doing. This, this is the worst he’s seen.
Alhaitham forgets the ear bud in a heartbeat, the excruciating headache shelved for a more emergent problem. ]
Let me see.
[ He says, but he doesn’t accept any refusal. His brows knit together and his mouth draws in a tight line as he forces himself to focus. He moves so he’s sitting in front of Kaveh, in front of the ankle that he was so clearly favoring before this second fall. At a glance it looks painful. Barely any assessment is needed to note the swelling and unfortunate position. It doesn’t bode well. ]
Not too bad, huh? [ He clicks his tongue, clearly disdainfully dismissing the idea. It was bad. ] We need to get you back.
[ At the very least, it needed ice and elevation. He’s fairly certain it’ll need much more than that.
We had sex. We ended up dating.
He looks back up, gaze locking on Kaveh’s mouth and focusing there. Kaveh has pillowy pouty lips and on any normal day he’d be left thinking of that unfortunate meeting under the mistletoe. Today, his bottom lip is quivering while Alhaitham’s head feels like a knife’s been stabbed clean through it as he sits in the dull realization of how far back they have to go. ]
[ Let me see, Alhaitham insists, and Kaveh immediately tries to argue, tries to drag himself away from the other man—but it's very quickly evident that there's no refusal of the other man: his former roommate is quick and stubborn alike, and he... well, he can barely move right now for fear of upsetting the injury further.
So he sits, angry and tearful, refusing to look at Alhaitham as he clicks his tongue over the injury.
(Though perhaps it's a good thing, because he doesn't see the way the other's eyes lock onto his mouth and stay.)
He does look up at him, though, when Alhaitham suddenly tells him that he'll need to hold onto him. Clearly, he's decided that they're going to be leaving, and put himself in charge of Kaveh, so... ]
We don't have to leave. I'm fine.
[ And, as if to make that point, he puts his hands back in the water to push himself up. He doesn't even get halfway there, though, the attempt to move his foot so he can stand making him cry out in agony as he slumps back into the pool of water with a soft sob for breath. ]
Fuck, I... I've hurt it pretty bad.
[ Kaveh braces his hands on his knee, trying to get a better look at the injury without moving it too much. ]
It might be broken. I'll need to go to the clinic...
[ His lip trembles. He's about to start crying all over again. The pain is one thing, but the indignity of needing to be all but carried by the man to whom he just confessed, to whom he immediately said to forget the confession—the man who seems to have done exactly that, acting as if the words were never said... it's too much.
[ What sense does it make to refuse Alhaitham looking at his injury? He doesn't let Kaveh refuse him, but he certainly tries. Equally unreasonable is Kaveh's insistence that they can continue. With his ankle like it is. Alhaitham considers that perhaps they've both hit their heads. There's no other logical reason Kaveh would think he could or should continue.
Rather than argue something that should be perfectly obvious, he lets Kaveh attempt to stand himself up. The pain, he would think, should make it abundantly clear.
Kaveh does not make it upright, crumpling back down into the shallow water with a sharp cry. Alhaitham exhales a sigh out through his nose when the genius of Kshahrewar finally concludes he's hurt himself. As if there were any doubt to that.]
Didn't I say that?
[ He didn't, exactly, not in as many words.
Kaveh is, historically, as terrible at accepting help as he is asking for it. Alhaitham supposes he should be relieved Kaveh has deigned to accept help at all. He doesn't dare mention his own ailments. A headache isn't terribly unusual for him... and unlike Kaveh's ankle, there's no aid that his senior can provide. The best they can do is return. The wobbling bottom lip does it and without another word, Alhaitham turns around, bowing his head. ]
Wrap your arms around my neck.
[ He'd already decided he was carrying Kaveh out. They can finally get out of this water, as nice as the chill feels on his feverish body. ]
Rather than argue further, he simply nods to Alhaitham's instruction and stretches his arms out, wrapping them around the other's neck as instructed, his gaze lowered once more. Every part of him wants to lean himself into the younger man, but he fights it off and instead rests against him only as much as he absolutely has to, and no more.
And yet, as the other steps them up and out of the water, its coolness on Alhaitham's skin is replaced quickly with that same cloying heat he felt before. It's emanating off him in waves like a fever, and for a few dizzying moments, he wonders if the other is sick somehow. The only other alternative for this sort of heat is...
Kaveh takes a shuddering breath, trying not to think about it. Alhaitham told him he'd do what he needed to do, so...
It can't be that, then.
Still, his concern is evident as he lifts his head after all, eyes of red-rimmed crimson searching over the other man's face.
(And he hates being this close, hates how it ties his stomach in knots and makes him want to start crying again, but he shoves it down, forcing himself to focus on the moment at hand.) ]
Alhaitham? Are you... [ Ugh. ] Is everything alright? You're burning up...
[ Kaveh isn't heavy when Alhaitham lifts him up, adjusting slightly when he straightens up in preparation for the long trek back, water dripping off of them where they stand.
He doesn't necessarily miss how stubbornly Kaveh refuses to lean against him, despite how much more comfortable it would likely make the hike for him. He doesn't miss how the strip of fabric he'd ripped off makes a larger gap than he'd thought and when Alhaitham now looks down to watch his step, he gets an eyeful of Kaveh's thighs as well. His mind traitorously informs him that the sopping wet fabric clinging to Kaveh's chest makes those mentioned piercings visible as well.
What are you looking at?!
His gaze darts back up to Kaveh's face, finding those red eyes watching him, still red-rimmed from crying, hair messy and wet and dripping. The look on Kaveh's face makes his chest clench and his head throb with the steady beat of his pulse. Alhaitham is distinctly aware that something is amiss. He can feel the fever in his own flesh, his skin riddled with goosebumps as the air meets his wet flesh. Kaveh almost feels too warm against him. The hallucinations are... difficult. More troublesome to navigate than the fever certainly. ]
Am I? I feel fine.
[ He'd be more inclined to share his dilemma if it would do any good. Kaveh can't walk like this. He can keep it together until they get to the clinic. Trudging down half-flooded tunnels seems to be the only way out and Alhaitham gets to it without any ceremony, his hand on Kaveh's bare thigh sapping up the chill clinging to him. Touching Kaveh like this feeds a host of inappropriate thoughts Alhaitham dutifully tries to ignore even as his fingers curl tighter into Kaveh's thigh.
The breathy sound of a moan in his ears doesn't help matters at all.
I like it when someone fucks me hard enough that I can't think— ]
That's enough.
[ Alhaitham snaps coldly, cutting off Kaveh before he can stop himself. He corrects himself quickly, mouth shut tight and gaze wandering elsewhere promptly. Perhaps 'fine' is an exaggeration. ]
[ Alhaitham says he's fine... but he's not, Kaveh thinks that much is obvious. Now that he's looking up at him, he can see the way the other's gaze wanders only to tear back upward to his face, and then forward as if avoiding him altogether. Alhaitham rejects the notion without hesitation, continuing to move at a steady pace through the water, and yet his fingers curl tighter into Kaveh's thigh, making the older man's breath catch momentarily.
Before he can say anything else, though, Alhaitham snaps. Kaveh jolts in his arms, looking at him in shock as emerald eyes dart away.
What's enough? he wants to ask—but the cold dread trickling down his spine tells him that he already knows. Damnit, Alhaitham said he'd—
And yet even as that horrified thought crosses his mind, he thinks: it doesn't make sense. The other hasn't been here for long at all. Is the House toying with him? Has something happened Alhaitham hasn't told him about? The only thing that makes any sense at all is... ]
Alhaitham.
[ His voice is tight with anxiety, with the pain pulsing from his ankle through the rest of his body, with the embarrassment and pain of having his former roommate so close to him after the confessions he made just before. ]
[ No matter how stray his mind wanders, the sharp tight note of his name from Kaveh's mouth calls his attention swiftly back to him. He felt Kaveh jolt in his arms when he snapped and he can hear the anxiety gripping him now. Despite claiming to be fine, Alhaitham is uncomfortably conscious of how poorly he's behaving it. The hallucinations are particularly grating, some camouflaged into conversation and others more obviously out of place — all of it rings in his ears just the same as Kaveh speaking to him. Hs forces his hands looser on Kaveh, holding him gingerly.
His trick of staring at Kaveh's mouth, reading the words straight from his lips, isn't infallible but it's all he's got right now. His brows knit together at the mention of his mark, the implication immediately understood and his frown deepens with the realization. Something like that makes more sense than even a severe concussion or crippling illness.
Kaveh doesn't know where his mark is because it's not conveniently placed. Naturally. He has absolutely no intention of checking it here and now, much less letting Kaveh see it right now. In the middle of a dungeon.
Alhaitham hasn't been reckless, though. That isn't to say that he's been proactive in preventing it darkening but — he'd glanced at it before they'd left. Nothing had seemed amiss, he hadn't seen any need to act on it just yet. He presumed he had plenty of time at the rate it was progressing.]
It was fine, earlier. [ He doesn't pause, trudging onwards, even with his boots soggy with water. ]
It wasn't dark.
[ And even if it was now, what was he going to do now? ]
[ Alhaitham doesn't acquiese to Kaveh's request, but at the very least admits to having looked at his suit mark himself, checked to make sure that it wasn't a growing problem. And... that's a good thing, that it was okay then, but that doesn't mean it's okay now. Sure, usually there's a certain set of rules that the marks follow, but Kaveh has seen—experienced—their occasional unpredictability, so the other's words don't fill him with much hope...
He takes a deep breath, forcing himself to be calm where his heartbeat is threatening to spike out of control. ]
That doesn't mean it is now. The House makes the rules, Alhaitham, and... and everything about you right now, it... it really seems like your suit is active.
[ Of course, though, each suit is different, each mark is different, and he doesn't know... ]
What are your symptoms? And what.. what suit are you?
[ He doesn't ask about Alhaitham's rank, not right now. With the pain, it's hard to focus on the conversation he needs to have, much less those parts that aren't so important. He can ask questions about his rank later, about how well he's living... he's been so avoidant, giving him the excuse of letting Alhaitham settle in, that he hasn't asked any of those yet and...
In Kaveh's mind, right now, he feels like he hasn't been being a very good friend. His heart might be broken, but that's not Alhaitham's fault—
Fresh tears spring to the corners of his eyes, and he drops his gaze from the other man's. ]
[ The deep breath that Kaveh sucks in is not inspiring or reassuring and if Alhaitham’s arms weren’t otherwise occupied, they’d be crossing right over his chest. Perhaps he hasn’t inquired enough about this mark in his stubborn intention to forget and ignore it. Kaveh, unaware of his dread, says what Alhaitham has begun to freshly suspect anyway. He supposes it might even be the preferable answer.
His suit being active is surely preferable to brain damage or psychosis. That doesn’t make Alhaitham any more amenable to the excuse that the House makes the rules.
The revelation is irritating. Still not enough to bring Alhaitham to a stop despite the evidently very real possibility he keeps looks at Kaveh’s nipples and thighs because the resort wants him to have sex.
Sooner rather than later.
Wonderful. ]
What are you apologizing for?
[ Alhaitham cuts off Kaveh, already hearing the sky quality in his voice. Can see the wetness starting to pool at the corner of Kaveh’s eyes. It’s just like Kaveh to blame himself for something he has no control over.
Alhaitham exhales a heavy sigh himself. ] I told you I checked myself earlier. You wouldn’t have found anything different.
[ Having an explanation for his symptoms isn’t as relieving as he might have thought, but this time — he doesn’t hold back from admitting what it is he’s experiencing. If it’s going to be affecting Kaveh, it may be for the best anyway.
Secondly, he supposes the distraction may be good for Kaveh. ]
Clubs. [ not looking for a reply, he fixes his gaze ahead of him. ] The symptoms likely… headache, fever — hallucinations.
[ Why is he apologizing? His plan had been a solid one. He's only upset now because things didn't work out the way he feels like they should. Alhaitham is right, besides—he would have seen exactly the same thing that his former roommate saw in the form of a normal, inactive suit mark.
And yet Kaveh can't help but feel as if he's gone wrong, somewhere. As if he could have fixed it, somehow. Despite all evidence to the contrary...
He lifts one hand from around Alhaitham's neck, swiping at his eyes before replacing it. He needs to stop the pity party. He's injured, and what the other man says next only confirms in his mind that he is indeed suffering from the activation of his suit. The fever, the fact that Alhaitham snapped at seemingly nothing...
(Kaveh wonders about the eyes on his chest, the hand gripping a little too tightly at one thigh.)
He swallows hard. ]
Alhaitham, have you.. have you met anyone, since you arrived? Made any friends?
[ Given what he confessed to the other just before, after all, it's probably best if the person to help with this isn't him. Things are already messy between them as it is, so... ]
Because you're gonna need to have sex. Soon.
[ He hates how that revelation makes him want to start crying all over again. ]
[ His feet carry them stubbornly forward, Alhaitham making mindless decisions which way to go — neither of them know the way back from here. Not that he’s aware of. He still has one earbud in and he wishes he had the other, wishes he had his own earpieces and he could make certain he didn’t hear a thing.
It’s the sound of Kaveh’s voice that drags Alhaitham’s gaze back to him, because otherwise, it stays fixed in front of them.
His jaw sets hard, teeth grinding together. Head throbbing.
His eyes flick back to the tunnel ahead of them, knee deep in water. He should have carried Kaveh on his back, maybe that would have avoided this.
His mind isn’t his own. Brimming with thoughts he stubbornly doesn’t give any extra attention. His grip on Kaveh is abruptly back to nearly bruising and he supposes that’s the closest he’ll get to touching Kaveh. ]
I’ll take care of it. You can stop worrying.
[ Even in a resort focused on sex, Kaveh is sleeping with someone else. ]
[ They keep moving, and for a moment Kaveh thinks Alhaitham hasn't heard anything he's said—or worse, that he's ignoring him. There's a stubbornness to his steps that makes Kaveh feel sick, and in the quiet of the dungeon he swears he can hear the other man's teeth grinding against each other, and...
He has to say something, doesn't he?
His lips part, but the only sound that comes out is something resembling a squeak as Alhaitham's grip on him tightens to the point of hurt, Kaveh's fingers tensing into the back of the other's shirt as he tries—foolishly—to pull away from the man keeping him from falling in a heap. ]
Alhaitham, you're hurting me—
[ The other is saying something about taking care of it, that Kaveh doesn't have to worry, but he's not listening anymore. Every last part of him is at war with itself, with the realization that Alhaitham needs help but won't ask him for it, that it hurts to not be asked even though he knows it's probably for the best, with the pain assaulting him from three different places physically, let alone the ache in his heart—
It's completely involuntary, the way his head drops, resting against the other's shoulder as he takes a shaky, whimpered breath.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
in person
He spends it taking a few extra trips into the newly-appeared dungeons, gathering the materials he needs to have each of them a proper weapon forged.
(It will help them fend off those horrible slimes, if anything.)
Then, with a decent claymore and sword both in hand, garbed once more in his barely-there armor, Kaveh goes in search of Alhaitham and suggests they go questing as planned... which is how they've found themselves here, down on the fourth floor. Kaveh has been here before, and so he knows to watch his step, but...
Click.
A tile caves under his foot, and he feels the rumbling threat shake the room around them, eyes wide as he looks up at Alhaitham. ]
Shit—
[ They're further than he made it last time; surely they won't land in those same rooms...? ]
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The answer was simple without ceremony. Despite previous (poor) experiences in the dungeon, they’re well-enough equipped and Alhaitham has come to terms with the nature of the place… he agrees. He doubts they will find anything worth while enough, the dungeon seems much like it’s just a manufacturer of flimsy excuses for sexual encounters. He feels markedly more comfortable approaching it with a sword in hand.
He’s distracted. They’ve approached ruins together before without problem, danger eliminated swiftly when the two of them join together. It’s going rather well… which is little excuse for Alhaitham’s wandering gaze and stray thoughts. The soft but deafening click garners his attention immediately, catching onto Kaveh’s wide eyes.
The thundering noise behind them nearly drowns out Kaveh’s cuss and Alhaitham doesn’t hesitate to move. He launches into action, hurtling forward and his hand latches onto Kaveh’s wrist. The bouldering rushing after them is large, loud and threatening to squash them like bugs.
Alhaitham assesses their options and with little warning, he throws them off the ledge. The drop steals his breath and they’ve dodged one bullet, nearly landing safely — when he feels Kaveh buckle. He’s generous enough is arms jerk out, trying to steady him when ultimately he feels them both begin to tumble. ]
Oof! [That’s how Alhaitham ends up flat on his back, the weight of Kaveh squarely atop him. Kaveh’s face squarely in his chest. His shoulder that took the brunt only aches a little.
He doesn’t know their problems are only about to multiply. ]
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No—
[ But it's far too late for that. They fall, and with Alhaitham's steady grip on his, they land—but a sharp pain in his ankle makes it buckle, and he crumples like paper, straight into the other man's arms and forcing them both to collapse to the dungeon floor. And it's dark, but it smells nice, and...
Fuck, he can feel Alhaitham's heartbeat against his nose.
He sits up, wide-eyed and red-cheeked, and pushes himself away from the other to look around. The room seems... ]
Okay. Okay, this is okay. [ He gets to his feet, wincing as he puts pressure on the one that gave out under his weight, bracing a hand on the nearest wall to support himself. ] The door's just over there, and there's nothing—ow!
[ He tears his hand away from the wall as spikes emerge from it, pinpricks of blood left behind on his skin. And before he can say anything at all, the walls start to move, the horrific grinding of stone on stone loud in his ears but still failing to drown out the voice that roars its warning through the chamber. ]
Fuck—
[ This time, it's Kaveh who grabs Alhaitham, dragging him into the center of the room—and he hurries, but the other will no doubt notice the slight unevenness to his steps as he avoids putting too much pressure on his the right side. In the center, he turns to look at him, and at the walls, and...
and of course Kaveh knows what his biggest secret is, that single most vulnerable thing he wishes to keep from the other man, but...
but he's been in this resort for a long time, and he's changed a lot, and... surely something different will suffice. Right...?
He takes a shaky breath. ]
I... have both of my nipples pierced.
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The threat that booms into the room sounds utterly ridiculous, the expletive that comes spitting out of Kaveh’s mouth is almost muted under the combined noise of the walls closing in on them and the booming voice. He lets himself be herded into the center of the room, his mind already racing.
Kaveh’s injured ankle hasn’t escaped his notice, but in the scheme of things, it’s not a priority he can address just yet.
He might be willing to call the resort’s bluff if they hadn’t just been similarly threatened with being squashed by a boulder. Kaveh’s nicked hand is proof enough these spikes aren’t dull.
Be emotionally vulnerable…or die!
How ridiculous.
Yet, he can see it on Kaveh’s face that his head is spinning trying to do just that. He guesses that proof enough that he shouldn’t play with this. The threat is real.
He can’t begin to stop the huff of actual disbelieving laughter at what Kaveh’s confesses. Both of Alhaitham’s brows jump up. And he… admittedly, takes a stunned second to stare at Kaveh. That’s… a thought that’s immediately embedded in his brain. ]
You think that’s being vulnerable?
[ One too-thin shirt is all it would have taken for Alhaitham to find that out. While he’s criticizing Kaveh’s choice of confession, he’s also grasping Kaveh’s wrist, pulling that injured hand towards him with a click of his tongue. ]
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And he knows, knew even without Alhaitham saying it, that his admission really isn't good enough, but at least he tried, and...
And it has to be. It has to be enough, because the alternative is...
He swallows hard, trying to ignore the sound of stone on stone as he glares at Alhaitham, arms folding protectively over his chest—as if, somehow, he knows the other is suddenly thinking far too much about the piercings hiding under them. ]
I know that you're emotionally inept, but embarrassment is definitely a type of vulnerability—
[ His scowl deepens. ]
Besides, I don't see you offering anything, so how do you know it wasn't enough?
[ Even as he says it though, he knows that Alhaitham is right, that what he's said indeed wasn't enough, not when he holds a more significant vulnerability closer to his chest.
But at least, until Alhaitham admits to something of his own and nothing changes, he can pretend. Right? ]
If it's not enough I'll say something else but you have to... you've gotta say something, Alhaitham. Please.
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He fixes his eyes back on Kaveh's scowling face. A much more easy, familiar sight. With the earbuds Kaveh gave him in, the grating noise of the trap walls creeping closer in with the spikes is heavy background noise.
He doesn't know what Kaveh thinks he has to be embarrassed for. It's a personal decision, an aesthetic one at that —which Kaveh should know he excels at. Alhaitham doesn't doubt it looks quite erotic. A smart, sensual decision in a place relying on sexual encounters.
Kaveh, unfortunately, is right on this point. He hasn't provided any semblance of a vulnerability. The fright with which Kaveh reacted makes the possibility of their death feel very real, no hint of doubt that this death trap would follow through on its word. The pleading is enough to make Alhaitham comply.]
I... don't think your hair looks bad, [ he says rather plainly, as if he doesn't know how contrary that is to all the comments he's made about Kaveh's hair. ] It looks nice like this.
[ Pretty, he doesn't say.
Instead, he's reaching out and grabbing at the material covering Kavehs' legs, his confession punctuated with the noise of the fabric and stitches ripping as Alhaitham tears off a strip. He specifically doesn't look at the new stretch of thigh revealed by his actions, focusing on the strip of fabric and the noise of the stone walls instead. ]
Good enough?
[ Doubtful. He doesn't hear any mechanisms trigger or stop and the walls keep pushing closer. Alhaitham pulls Kaveh's hurt hand away from his chest, mouth pinched in a frown as he ties wraps the strip around Kaveh's palm tightly, working on tying a tight knot on it. There's no reason to not treat it. Their minds can work perfectly fine even with their hands busy. ]
I told you your piercings weren't enough.
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Which means Alhaitham was right, he was right in his own head, and the admission about the piercings wasn't enough to save them.
He swallows hard, and says nothing for a moment, nor does he try to pull away a second time when Alhaitham takes his hand again (though he did startle and yell out when the fabric of his armor was so suddenly torn, revealing... well, far too much leg for his liking). ]
I paid money for those—
[ But he cuts himself off. There's no point in arguing this right now. Kaveh himself hasn't died in this resort, but he knows it's possible, and while it might not be the end of one's life, the effects after the fact are, to his knowledge, far from nice. It's not on the list of experiences he wants to have, and even if he'd consider sacrificing himself for the secret on the tip of his tongue, he wouldn't let Alhaitham do the same, so...
But they still have time, don't they? And Kaveh still has plenty of secrets.
He takes a trembling breath, trying not to look too panicked or upset as, for each confession, his cheeks burn darker, his gaze drops lower. ]
I... I've been involved in an orgy before. [ And, when that does nothing: ] I've also had sex with a literal tentacle monster.
[ Nothing changes. The walls creep closer—Kaveh could swear they're getting faster. His lips tremble. ]
I like wearing lingerie sometimes. I have a few different sets, actually—I think I look pretty in them, so...
[ Still nothing. The hand not being looked over by Alhaitham clenches by his side. He knows what the resort wants him to say. He knows it... Of course it's put them in this situation... ]
I like being called a good boy! [ He's almost shouting it now, panic edging each of his words—and Alhaitham knows him well enough to recognize it's not fear of the spikes or the walls that's driving him, but fear of what he knows he needs to say. Tears spring to his eyes. ] I like it when someone fucks me hard enough that I can't think, because thinking hurts—
[ The walls move closer, and Kaveh starts to cry. ]
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He busies himself with the bandage, readjusting it to sit neatly on Kaveh's palm. With the bandage tied neatly around Kaveh's palm, Alhaitham would have nothing to distract him from the sound of the walls scraping stone against stone as their imminent demise looms ever closer. That and the distress knitted into Kaveh's expression, embodied in the shaky quality of his breath. Kaveh isn't particularly known for his unflappable nerves.
He's a brilliant scholar, a famously renowned architect.
What would he need to be fearless for?
The flood of confessions that follow, one after another, with Kaveh growing increasingly desperate between each one.. Alhaitham could just think that Kaveh is panicked about their impending death. He never once throws back the accusation that Alhaitham's mild confession wasn't enough. His desperation reeks of a secret he wants to keep.
Alhaitham feels his face warmed with each confession, heat flooding his face. Even with the earbuds Kaveh's given him, his head had started a dull ache when that voiced boomed overhead but now it throbs, intolerant of the echo of Kaveh's words muddled with the stone grinding against itself. He gives up straightening the bandage.
An orgy. A tentacle monster. Lingerie. Nipple piercings.
How many people has Kaveh slept with? The thought surprises Alhaitham, his own runaway thoughts quickly reminding it wasn't even just people -- a tentacle monster made the list as well. Anyone that wasn't him, evidently.
He swipes an agitated hand against his forehead, feely overheated, his forehead damp underneath his bangs. HIs thoughts spiral uselessly while Kaveh admits to a praise kink, admits to liking it rough. Alhaitham wonders the last time he praised anything Kaveh's done. He can practically hear Kaveh begging someone to call him a good boy. Someone that isn't Alhaitham —
The walls are closer. They're close enough that Alhaitham can stretch out an arm and touch the spikes. Kaveh is crying right in front of him. Alhaitham ignores the lingering echoes of Kaveh's voice. ]
I regret how our project ended. [ Alhaitham admits, abruptly. His own voice grates on his nerves, his head throbbing, but he doesn't intend to die like this. Kaveh's admitted countless things, there's a lingering possibility it's him. Alhaitham collects his messy mind to remedy that possibility, even as he watches the tears collect at Kaveh's lashes and knows Kaveh is holding back. ] I wanted to apologize.
[ That had been off the table, the damage too severe. ]
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(Though, at the same time, perhaps he doesn't want to know. Perhaps Alhaitham is judging him in his own mind, thinking of Kaveh as the worst kind of deviant—)
And yet in the end, his eyes are dragged up to him anyway, eyes wide despite the tears on his cheeks, clinging to his lashes, trembling like gemstones at the corners of his lips. His eyes widen in answer to Alhaitham's apology. Guilt gnaws at his insides. The walls draw ever closer. There are scant few moments left before it's too late, and Alhaitham is trying, opening up to deeper secrets still even as Kaveh hides the one that matters the most.
They're going to die, he thinks, for a single, wild moment. He can feel the spikes at his back. ]
You've been here before!
[ He shouts it. The walls stop—slow?—but nothing else happens. Not that Kaveh is paying attention to anything else, anymore. His eyes close, a fresh pair of tears rushing down his cheeks, and when he speaks again, his voice is little more than a whisper in the sudden, deafening silence of the room. ]
You arrived at the same time as me. We had sex—we ended up dating. And I. I fell in love with you.
[ His arms wrap around himself, as if he can somehow shield his entire body, his heart, his feelings from the words falling like pain from his lips. ]
And then you disappeared, and you've been gone... you've been gone for so long. But I never... [ His breath catches on a sob, his shoulders hunched over. ] I'm in love with you, Alhaitham.
[ Then, Kaveh screams, as the floor opens under their feet, sending them into freefall. ]
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Perhaps he has been here before. The shaky tears running down Kaveh’s face are convincing as much as they have Alhaitham itching to look away despite the unsettling sight of how close the spikes are, nearly touching Kaveh. His own pulse is racing, pounding loud and deafening in his ears but not loud enough to drown out Kaveh’s frantic voice.
The terrifying crawl of the walls closer comes to a deafening stop. Alhaitham can feel the metal of the spikes against his back, the promise to skewer them only stopped by Kaveh’s tearful confession.
Alhaitham’s head was still spinning. Why was that so much more important than of the other secrets? He didn’t have to wonder long, watching tears drip off of Kaveh’s chin, wet tear tracks left down his face. Alhaitham feels feverish. Borderline sick with the way his head aches and Kaveh’s voice distorts, abundantly and glaringly obvious in the otherwise silent room. Kaveh’s arms are wrapped so tightly around himself as if he’s confessing something horrific.
Alhaitham takes one earbud out, grasping it tightly in his hand as if he truly doesn’t trust his ears. For the man that’s been trying to leave his house, pretending furiously that they don’t even live together, it’s bizarre to hear every turn in the story.
Dating? In love? With him?
Alhaitham wonders: is he sick? Delirious? He must be. That explains this fever. Kaveh isn’t saying that. ]
What did you —
[ The words are cut off, swallowed up by a gasp to accompany Kaveh’s scream as the floor drops them unceremoniously into a free fall. With no warning, Alhaitham scrambles to land properly. He doesn’t land well, but better than his counterpart. The pained noise Kaveh makes has Alhaitham swiftly reaching out, entirely too late and yanking Kaveh towards himself.
For the second time today, they tumble into a graceless heap. ]
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Before he can collapse entirely, though, Alhaitham grabs him and pulls him close, and they tumble to the floor together, landing in a shallow pool of water. Suddenly, he's not just in pain, he's soaked through, and he's pressed up against Alhaitham again, and—
and Alhaitham is warm, clammy somehow in a way Kaveh doesn't immediately understand. Almost feverish, he'll think later, when this moment haunts the hours when he should be sleeping, replaying itself over and over again. It's a sign he shouldn't miss, but in the heat of everything, weighed against the ache in his heart, he does.
He sits up, pushes himself away, refusing to look the other man in the face. His voice quavers when he talks, the words trembling on his lips as they rush out. His ankle is screaming in pain, but he's not thinking about that anymore. ]
...Listen. Everything I said, you... you can forget about it, okay? It's not important. I'm not expecting anything from you, or.. or anything like that, so...
[ Fuck, he's a mess. His breath catches, and Kaveh reaches both hands, bandaged and uninjured alike, into the water, splashing it onto his face in an effort to calm himself down, to hide the evidence of the tears still slipping from his eyes. ]
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—in love with you, Alhaitham. Didn't you hear me?
He's all too aware of his arms on Kaveh and before he recognizes it, his arms tighten around Kaveh as if he intends to keep him just like this. Laid together in this chilly puddle in the middle of the dungeon. Kaveh's legs are between his own, the weight of his body fully laid on Alhaitham and —
Alhaitham! What are you thinking?!
Something foolish. He lets go of Kaveh, his senior taking the chance to sit up and away from him. Alhaitham and his pounding head lay there a second longer before he sluggishly sits up. He hates getting wet. They're both soaked through with no hope of getting a towel to dry off any time soon. He supposes they should be grateful they're still alive. That was a close one.
If he hadn't admitted how he'd felt about that project's unfortunate end... he wouldn't be here to complain about the cold water.
It's quieter down here and every word from Kaveh sounds louder than the last. He's more than a little aware that something is wrong, these are auditory hallucinations, but less so the cause. He doesn't think he hit his head that first fall, but perhaps he did. Immediately following, his head had begun hurting. It's not impossible, but neither is the resort simply attempting to fool him.
His head is still pounding now, he's more than conscious of the earbud he'd had in his hand when he'd fallen and how it's not there anymore. He feels around the bottom of the shallow pool they've landed in, trying to find the thing.
Glancing at Kaveh is a mistake. He's soaking wet, every bit of clothing sticking to him. ]
... How is your ankle?
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His heart aches. The question is one of concern, and yet, detached from anything Kaveh was forced to voice aloud in that chamber, it feels cold. He's the one who told Alhaitham to forget it, and perhaps it's best that it's not acknowledged, but the fact it isn't still hurts like a knife, re-opening wounds he'd believed long healed. Fresh tears well in his eyes, and he splashes his face with water again, trying to will them away. It's embarrassing, isn't it? To keep crying like this when he's been so abruptly rejected.
Now that his hand has dipped twice into the pool, the makeshift bandage around his wounded palm is soaked through, and he can feel the sting of pain as cold water meets blood. Worst of all, the physical pain only brings his attention back to the worst source of the same, the agony emanating from an ankle, that, when he looks at it from here, seems to be sitting in quite a strange way, the skin starting to swell around the joint. A sick feeling settles in his stomach. Is it broken? How is he meant to get back out of the dungeon—
Taking a deep breath, Kaveh tries to bring his focus back to this very moment, and the question Alhaitham asked of him. His eyes lift, and he finally, finally looks up at the other man, eyes rimmed with red despite his best efforts, lower lip trembling so badly it adds a strange, halting lilt to his words. ]
...It's not too bad.
[ Strange, perhaps, that he lies so soon after telling Alhaitham so many truths, not to mention the fact that his ankle is very visibly not okay. But his pride is shattered, lying in intangible pieces on the floor around them. This is the only thing he has left. ]
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Alhaitham forgets the ear bud in a heartbeat, the excruciating headache shelved for a more emergent problem. ]
Let me see.
[ He says, but he doesn’t accept any refusal. His brows knit together and his mouth draws in a tight line as he forces himself to focus. He moves so he’s sitting in front of Kaveh, in front of the ankle that he was so clearly favoring before this second fall. At a glance it looks painful. Barely any assessment is needed to note the swelling and unfortunate position. It doesn’t bode well. ]
Not too bad, huh? [ He clicks his tongue, clearly disdainfully dismissing the idea. It was bad. ] We need to get you back.
[ At the very least, it needed ice and elevation. He’s fairly certain it’ll need much more than that.
We had sex. We ended up dating.
He looks back up, gaze locking on Kaveh’s mouth and focusing there. Kaveh has pillowy pouty lips and on any normal day he’d be left thinking of that unfortunate meeting under the mistletoe. Today, his bottom lip is quivering while Alhaitham’s head feels like a knife’s been stabbed clean through it as he sits in the dull realization of how far back they have to go. ]
… you’re going to have to hold on to me.
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So he sits, angry and tearful, refusing to look at Alhaitham as he clicks his tongue over the injury.
(Though perhaps it's a good thing, because he doesn't see the way the other's eyes lock onto his mouth and stay.)
He does look up at him, though, when Alhaitham suddenly tells him that he'll need to hold onto him. Clearly, he's decided that they're going to be leaving, and put himself in charge of Kaveh, so... ]
We don't have to leave. I'm fine.
[ And, as if to make that point, he puts his hands back in the water to push himself up. He doesn't even get halfway there, though, the attempt to move his foot so he can stand making him cry out in agony as he slumps back into the pool of water with a soft sob for breath. ]
Fuck, I... I've hurt it pretty bad.
[ Kaveh braces his hands on his knee, trying to get a better look at the injury without moving it too much. ]
It might be broken. I'll need to go to the clinic...
[ His lip trembles. He's about to start crying all over again. The pain is one thing, but the indignity of needing to be all but carried by the man to whom he just confessed, to whom he immediately said to forget the confession—the man who seems to have done exactly that, acting as if the words were never said... it's too much.
But he also knows there's no other option. ]
...Help me. Please.
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Rather than argue something that should be perfectly obvious, he lets Kaveh attempt to stand himself up. The pain, he would think, should make it abundantly clear.
Kaveh does not make it upright, crumpling back down into the shallow water with a sharp cry. Alhaitham exhales a sigh out through his nose when the genius of Kshahrewar finally concludes he's hurt himself. As if there were any doubt to that.]
Didn't I say that?
[ He didn't, exactly, not in as many words.
Kaveh is, historically, as terrible at accepting help as he is asking for it. Alhaitham supposes he should be relieved Kaveh has deigned to accept help at all. He doesn't dare mention his own ailments. A headache isn't terribly unusual for him... and unlike Kaveh's ankle, there's no aid that his senior can provide. The best they can do is return. The wobbling bottom lip does it and without another word, Alhaitham turns around, bowing his head. ]
Wrap your arms around my neck.
[ He'd already decided he was carrying Kaveh out. They can finally get out of this water, as nice as the chill feels on his feverish body. ]
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Rather than argue further, he simply nods to Alhaitham's instruction and stretches his arms out, wrapping them around the other's neck as instructed, his gaze lowered once more. Every part of him wants to lean himself into the younger man, but he fights it off and instead rests against him only as much as he absolutely has to, and no more.
And yet, as the other steps them up and out of the water, its coolness on Alhaitham's skin is replaced quickly with that same cloying heat he felt before. It's emanating off him in waves like a fever, and for a few dizzying moments, he wonders if the other is sick somehow. The only other alternative for this sort of heat is...
Kaveh takes a shuddering breath, trying not to think about it. Alhaitham told him he'd do what he needed to do, so...
It can't be that, then.
Still, his concern is evident as he lifts his head after all, eyes of red-rimmed crimson searching over the other man's face.
(And he hates being this close, hates how it ties his stomach in knots and makes him want to start crying again, but he shoves it down, forcing himself to focus on the moment at hand.) ]
Alhaitham? Are you... [ Ugh. ] Is everything alright? You're burning up...
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He doesn't necessarily miss how stubbornly Kaveh refuses to lean against him, despite how much more comfortable it would likely make the hike for him. He doesn't miss how the strip of fabric he'd ripped off makes a larger gap than he'd thought and when Alhaitham now looks down to watch his step, he gets an eyeful of Kaveh's thighs as well. His mind traitorously informs him that the sopping wet fabric clinging to Kaveh's chest makes those mentioned piercings visible as well.
What are you looking at?!
His gaze darts back up to Kaveh's face, finding those red eyes watching him, still red-rimmed from crying, hair messy and wet and dripping. The look on Kaveh's face makes his chest clench and his head throb with the steady beat of his pulse. Alhaitham is distinctly aware that something is amiss. He can feel the fever in his own flesh, his skin riddled with goosebumps as the air meets his wet flesh. Kaveh almost feels too warm against him. The hallucinations are... difficult. More troublesome to navigate than the fever certainly. ]
Am I? I feel fine.
[ He'd be more inclined to share his dilemma if it would do any good. Kaveh can't walk like this. He can keep it together until they get to the clinic. Trudging down half-flooded tunnels seems to be the only way out and Alhaitham gets to it without any ceremony, his hand on Kaveh's bare thigh sapping up the chill clinging to him. Touching Kaveh like this feeds a host of inappropriate thoughts Alhaitham dutifully tries to ignore even as his fingers curl tighter into Kaveh's thigh.
The breathy sound of a moan in his ears doesn't help matters at all.
I like it when someone fucks me hard enough that I can't think— ]
That's enough.
[ Alhaitham snaps coldly, cutting off Kaveh before he can stop himself. He corrects himself quickly, mouth shut tight and gaze wandering elsewhere promptly. Perhaps 'fine' is an exaggeration. ]
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Before he can say anything else, though, Alhaitham snaps. Kaveh jolts in his arms, looking at him in shock as emerald eyes dart away.
What's enough? he wants to ask—but the cold dread trickling down his spine tells him that he already knows. Damnit, Alhaitham said he'd—
And yet even as that horrified thought crosses his mind, he thinks: it doesn't make sense. The other hasn't been here for long at all. Is the House toying with him? Has something happened Alhaitham hasn't told him about? The only thing that makes any sense at all is... ]
Alhaitham.
[ His voice is tight with anxiety, with the pain pulsing from his ankle through the rest of his body, with the embarrassment and pain of having his former roommate so close to him after the confessions he made just before. ]
Where—Where is your suit mark? I need to see it.
[ If he's right, it's darkened. ]
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His trick of staring at Kaveh's mouth, reading the words straight from his lips, isn't infallible but it's all he's got right now. His brows knit together at the mention of his mark, the implication immediately understood and his frown deepens with the realization. Something like that makes more sense than even a severe concussion or crippling illness.
Kaveh doesn't know where his mark is because it's not conveniently placed. Naturally. He has absolutely no intention of checking it here and now, much less letting Kaveh see it right now. In the middle of a dungeon.
Alhaitham hasn't been reckless, though. That isn't to say that he's been proactive in preventing it darkening but — he'd glanced at it before they'd left. Nothing had seemed amiss, he hadn't seen any need to act on it just yet. He presumed he had plenty of time at the rate it was progressing.]
It was fine, earlier. [ He doesn't pause, trudging onwards, even with his boots soggy with water. ]
It wasn't dark.
[ And even if it was now, what was he going to do now? ]
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He takes a deep breath, forcing himself to be calm where his heartbeat is threatening to spike out of control. ]
That doesn't mean it is now. The House makes the rules, Alhaitham, and... and everything about you right now, it... it really seems like your suit is active.
[ Of course, though, each suit is different, each mark is different, and he doesn't know... ]
What are your symptoms? And what.. what suit are you?
[ He doesn't ask about Alhaitham's rank, not right now. With the pain, it's hard to focus on the conversation he needs to have, much less those parts that aren't so important. He can ask questions about his rank later, about how well he's living... he's been so avoidant, giving him the excuse of letting Alhaitham settle in, that he hasn't asked any of those yet and...
In Kaveh's mind, right now, he feels like he hasn't been being a very good friend. His heart might be broken, but that's not Alhaitham's fault—
Fresh tears spring to the corners of his eyes, and he drops his gaze from the other man's. ]
I'm sorry. I should've checked in sooner.
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His suit being active is surely preferable to brain damage or psychosis. That doesn’t make Alhaitham any more amenable to the excuse that the House makes the rules.
The revelation is irritating. Still not enough to bring Alhaitham to a stop despite the evidently very real possibility he keeps looks at Kaveh’s nipples and thighs because the resort wants him to have sex.
Sooner rather than later.
Wonderful. ]
What are you apologizing for?
[ Alhaitham cuts off Kaveh, already hearing the sky quality in his voice. Can see the wetness starting to pool at the corner of Kaveh’s eyes. It’s just like Kaveh to blame himself for something he has no control over.
Alhaitham exhales a heavy sigh himself. ] I told you I checked myself earlier. You wouldn’t have found anything different.
[ Having an explanation for his symptoms isn’t as relieving as he might have thought, but this time — he doesn’t hold back from admitting what it is he’s experiencing. If it’s going to be affecting Kaveh, it may be for the best anyway.
Secondly, he supposes the distraction may be good for Kaveh. ]
Clubs. [ not looking for a reply, he fixes his gaze ahead of him. ] The symptoms likely… headache, fever — hallucinations.
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[ Why is he apologizing? His plan had been a solid one. He's only upset now because things didn't work out the way he feels like they should. Alhaitham is right, besides—he would have seen exactly the same thing that his former roommate saw in the form of a normal, inactive suit mark.
And yet Kaveh can't help but feel as if he's gone wrong, somewhere. As if he could have fixed it, somehow. Despite all evidence to the contrary...
He lifts one hand from around Alhaitham's neck, swiping at his eyes before replacing it. He needs to stop the pity party. He's injured, and what the other man says next only confirms in his mind that he is indeed suffering from the activation of his suit. The fever, the fact that Alhaitham snapped at seemingly nothing...
(Kaveh wonders about the eyes on his chest, the hand gripping a little too tightly at one thigh.)
He swallows hard. ]
Alhaitham, have you.. have you met anyone, since you arrived? Made any friends?
[ Given what he confessed to the other just before, after all, it's probably best if the person to help with this isn't him. Things are already messy between them as it is, so... ]
Because you're gonna need to have sex. Soon.
[ He hates how that revelation makes him want to start crying all over again. ]
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It’s the sound of Kaveh’s voice that drags Alhaitham’s gaze back to him, because otherwise, it stays fixed in front of them.
His jaw sets hard, teeth grinding together. Head throbbing.
His eyes flick back to the tunnel ahead of them, knee deep in water. He should have carried Kaveh on his back, maybe that would have avoided this.
His mind isn’t his own. Brimming with thoughts he stubbornly doesn’t give any extra attention. His grip on Kaveh is abruptly back to nearly bruising and he supposes that’s the closest he’ll get to touching Kaveh. ]
I’ll take care of it. You can stop worrying.
[ Even in a resort focused on sex, Kaveh is sleeping with someone else. ]
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He has to say something, doesn't he?
His lips part, but the only sound that comes out is something resembling a squeak as Alhaitham's grip on him tightens to the point of hurt, Kaveh's fingers tensing into the back of the other's shirt as he tries—foolishly—to pull away from the man keeping him from falling in a heap. ]
Alhaitham, you're hurting me—
[ The other is saying something about taking care of it, that Kaveh doesn't have to worry, but he's not listening anymore. Every last part of him is at war with itself, with the realization that Alhaitham needs help but won't ask him for it, that it hurts to not be asked even though he knows it's probably for the best, with the pain assaulting him from three different places physically, let alone the ache in his heart—
It's completely involuntary, the way his head drops, resting against the other's shoulder as he takes a shaky, whimpered breath.
Let me help you, he wants to say. To beg. Please.
He bites the words back, eyes squeezing shut. ]
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